Around the World in 80 Days Loliver Version
by somethingborrowed3
Summary: Oliver bet that he could travel the world in 80 days, with the help of his valet, Miley. They meet many interesting people along the way, especially a pretty girl by the name of Lily... LOLIVER
1. Oliver is Philieas Fogg

**For those of you who've watched the movie, **_**Around the World in 80 Days**_**, you'll see that this Loliver fanfic is just about exactly the same. For those of you who haven't, I hope you have fun reading this "original" fanfic/parody!**

Miley jumped out of the window of the Bank of London and shook her head. Man, this disguise is itchy. She wondered how guys could cope with a beard, until she noticed a horde of policeman running towards her. She ran.

She rounded a corner and saw a horse-pulled wagon. She climbed in through the back, and was relieved to hear the feet of the policeman run past, and the clickity-click of the horse shoe as they went further away from the Bank of London, now the scene of an infamous crime.

She had to do so. Clutched in her hand, was a mask. Wrapped inside the mask, was a jade Buddha that has protected her village for decades. It was time to return to China.

Miley glanced up and noticed that this wagon carried suits, canes, dress shoes, and top hats. She quickly changed into the formal attire and slipped out the back of the wagon. She ran towards the outskirts of London, determined to leave Great Britain and debark on the dangerous trek back to China.

From behind her, Miley heard the feet of policeman. She quickly hid her face behind a big leaf hanging from the tree next to her. Unfortunately, a policeman noticed her. Before the policeman had a chance to think, Miley disappeared to the top branches of the tree.

In the yard where the tree was located, Miley saw an angry valet quit his job, because, apparently, his owner kept making him test various shocking experiments that ended with him becoming electrocuted.

Miley heard the branch snap underneath her. Uh-oh…

With a quick whoosh, she fell down and landed awkwardly on the ground, right in front of the scientist who just lost a valet.

"Who are you?" The man asked.

Miley quickly stood up, quite swayed. "I-I'm your new valet!" She said just as another group of policeman ran behind her and the gates.

The scientist had a confused look on his face, while he looked up on the tree, and back down on Miley. "Okay…well, I have this new contraption for you to try out. Here." He handed Miley a helmet and continued to speak. "Let's see if we can break the 50 mph speed barrier." He stepped into a control room and motioned Miley to step into an odd looking machine.

Miley cautiously sat down on the leather chair. She saw the scientist push a lever, and she immediately began to spin around the track. Faster, and faster, and faster…

By the time the meter pointed to 50 mph, the track fell apart, and Miley went flying at an incredibly unnerving speed. She was screaming the whole way, and her fake beard fell off. The scientist immediately took off after her, being hit in the face by the fake beard _and_ a top hat.

Miley finally hit her head on a lamppost with a sickening crunch. Fortunately, she had her helmet on. She slowly stood up, dazed. The scientist ran over to her, and asked if _she_ was all right.

Miley instinctively put her hand where the beard was supposed to be, only to find skin. She smiled guiltily. The scientist returned the fake smile. "Hey, so come on! Let's go back to the house! I've got a lot of inventions for you to see and possibly try out!"

"No way!" Miley yelled and was about to run away, but she noticed the policeman. "Okay!" The two quickly ran back the house, with Miley putting on her hat and beard on the way.

-------

Once they were back "home", the panting scientist asked, "by the way, what's your name?"

"Er…" Miley responded. She sure didn't want to give him a real name… She looked out the window and saw a tourist handling a passport with a police escort.

"Passport!" She yelled.

"Pardon?" The scientist asked.

"Passpartout!" She replied sheepishly.

The scientist just nodded. "Well, that's good, since I only accept French valets. By the way, where is your accent?"

"Oh! M-My accent?"

"Yes."

"Umm…my father is a Frenchman. He was quiet and shy. My mother is Chinese. She just talks and talks and never shuts up. All the kids learn her accent." She smiled.

"Ahh!" The scientist grinned. "Well, my name is Oliver. Oliver Oken. Nice to meet you." They shook hands.

"Well! No need to continue waiting! Let me show you the rest of my inventions!"

**Well? What do you think? Should I keep going? And to those of you asking the question: YES, IT IS A LOLIVER. For those of you who've watched the movie, its quite obvious who Lily is, as she will appear later in the story. You'll also know that Miley and Oliver won't have any romantic relationship at all. (Eww…) R&R!!!**


	2. Miley is Passpartout

Oliver spent the rest of the day showing Miley all the inventions around the house. Miley actually thought that some were quite impressive, such as the machine that takes coat hangers across the house to the laundry machine and drops whatever article of clothing on the hanger into the whirlpool of water and soap.

When Oliver led Miley into a dark room, Miley wondered what was going on. Oliver clapped his hands, and immediately, the room became brightly lit, with light emitting from the bulbs located around the room.

Miley gave a nod of approval. She clicked her tongue and clapped her hands. The room went dim.

Oliver quickly clapped his hands again and said, "Don't do that."

Miley nodded, then asked, "What is that?"

"Those are light bulbs. They are powered off of electricity. You know, that thing invented by the American Inventor, Thomas Edison?"

Miley shook her head.

"Oh well, his amazing feats will soon arrive to the shores of London."

"Mhm." Miley clicked her tongue with approval and clapped. The room immediately became dim again.

"We are definitely going to have to make a rule about that." Oliver said.

---------

Miley spent the next couple hours in her new room, fiddling around with the jade Buddha that she stole from the Bank of London. The phone suddenly rang, catching Miley by surprise. She quickly packed the Buddha away and picked up the receiver.

"Hello?"

"Hey! This is Oliver. Please ready my urban transport device."

"Huh?" Miley asked.

"The wheelie-shoes." Oliver described. Minutes later, Oliver was "rollerblading" across the crowded London square, with Miley running by his side, telling people to move out of the way.

Oliver rollerbladed into the Royal Academy of Science then announced that he had successfully broken the 50 mph speed barrier.

Lord Kelvin said, "Psk, Psk, Psk. Now Oliver. We live in a _Golden Age_. Every thing that _can_ been discovered, _has _been discovered! There is no need for scientists like you!"

"Lord Kelvin, sir…I-I can explain!"

A messenger interrupted Oliver. He hurried over to Lord Kelvin and whispered in his ear.

"What?" Lord Kelvin jumped, causing the messenger to quiver in fear. "The _Bank of London_ has been _robbed_? Who is responsible for this?"

A man spoke up. "I heard that it was a _Chinese _fellow."

Miley's eyes perked up. She quickly whispered into the ear of a man standing next to her.

After a while, a man from the other side of the room spoke up. "I heard that it was a bunch of _Norwegian_ fellows!"

Miley then whispered into the ear of the other man standing next to her. A few minutes later, a man on the far side of the room stepped forward and said, "I heard from a _very_ reliable source that it was a group of _elderly_ _Norwegian_ fellows!" He giggled in an unmanly way.

Lord Kelvin exploded. "Enough of this! What we need to do is to figure out a way to catch this thief, not play guessing games on his nationality!"

Oliver stepped forward. "According to my calculations…" He stared at his chained pocket watch.

"He would have taken a ship to Normandy a few hours ago, caught a steam train, through Turkey, and stop in India. From Calcutta, he would take a ship to Hong Kong, and would be in China within a month."

Miley's eye's perked up again.

The men in the room burst into laughter. "According to _his_ calculations, the thief could have left Britain traveled _around the world_ and be back in London in less than a fortnight!"

"No, actually, according to my calculations, the thief could travel around the world in 80 days." Oliver defended himself. Miley suddenly had an idea, and whispered it into the ears of the man next to her.

When the message finally reached Lord Kelvin, his mouth turned into an evil sneer. "How about a bet, Oliver?" He asked.

"What?" Oliver asked.

"You, leave London on the ship that leaves at noon, travel _around_ the world, and be at the top step on the Academy of Science by noon in _exactly_ 80 days." Lord Kelvin proposed. The men in the room all chuckled.

"No. I refuse." Oliver said.

"Oh, so you're too scared to back up your claim?" Lord Kelvin suggested. All the man cooed in an immature manner.

"No. You just don't have anything to offer that I could possibly want." Oliver turned away and motioned Miley to follow him.

"Are you sure? Are you _sure_ that there is nothing that I could want?" Lord Kelvin asked.

Oliver stopped. "Actually, there is something that I want." He turned around. "_Your_ position as the Minister of Science."

The men all oohed again.

"All right. But if _you_ lose, then you are to give up science forever, and your blasted house becomes _my_ property."

Oliver thought for a second, and then shook hands with Lord Kelvin. That tied the deal. He then reached into his pocket and gave Oliver two tickets for the noon ship to Paris.

"Good luck!" He said sarcastically.

-----------

"Oh, what have I done?" Oliver asked, while pacing the room.

"Don't worry! You've done nothing wrong. You'll make it around the world in eighty days! I know it!" Miley said. "Besides, the only thing you'll lose is this house, right? You've got a family to got to, right?"

"No. I've got nothing. This house and everything in it is the _only_ thing I have." Oliver said dejectedly. Miley felt a pang of guilt for suggesting the voyage in the first place, but she did what she had to do. She _had_ to get to China…

----------

The next day, Miley packed everything and loaded it onto Oliver's newest invention, a motorized vehicle. As they drove down the street, a crowd of people cheered them on.

A police officer walked up to them, and Miley immediately covered her face.

"This vehicle is against the law." He said.

"What do you mean sir?" Oliver asked.

"According to the new law passed by the English Parliament, motorized vehicles are not to be allowed on this street." He said. "Therefore, you and your valet are hereby under arrest."

He assisted Oliver and Miley off the vehicle. However, when he attempted to handcuff them to the door, he accidentally pushed the gearshift, and the car began to roll down the hill.

The policeman's pants accidentally got hooked onto the vehicle, and he was dragged down the street. He tried fruitlessly to take off his pants, but the vehicle collided directly into a metal garbage holder. Oil started leaking onto the man, and garbage flew everywhere, including his mouth.

"Ooh." Said the crowd. Miley led Oliver into a nearby horse-drawn carriage.

"Isn't this stealing? Not a good way to start the journey." Oliver said.

"So? We need to get to Ch- I mean, around the world." Miley said, and they started moving away.

High up on the top floor of the Academy of Science, Lord Kelvin said, "Darn. What's the point of hiring a corrupt officer if they can't even do the job correctly? Tell "Inspector Fix" to pack his bags…he's going on a journey. Heh…"

**So?? What do you think? Sorry it took so long, but there should be a bit more regular updates now. For those of you wanting Loliver, please wait, since Lily will appear in the next chapter. :) R&R!! PLEASE!**


	3. Lily is Monique La Rouche

The French below is real French. However, I am only in French One so if I have any errors, please clear it up for me. Thanks. (Same goes with the Mandarin Chinese later in the story)

"Yes…well, when's the next ship leave?" Oliver asked.

The man behind the counter just nodded. "Oui. Oui. Tu parle l'anglais. Je parle Français. Tu parle Français, sîl vous plait."

"No…No…Uhg…When-does-the-next-ship-leave!?" Oliver asked, exasperated.

"Non. Je ne parle pas l'anglais."

"I don't care. I want to know when the next ship leaves!" Oliver yelled. The man behind the counter had a confused look on his face.

Oliver turned and looked at Miley, who was smiling at the scene in front of her. "Go speak with him."

Miley looked confused. 

"You're half-french, aren't you?" Oliver asked.

"Oh! Yes!" Miley said. She turned and looked at the ticket man, who looked at her expectantly. She turned around and looked at Oliver, who told her to hurry up.

Miley turned back and looked at the ticket man. "Er…" She began to speak gibberish at the ticket man, who proceeded to state things in French. Miley finally turned around and looked at Oliver.

"Yes?" Oliver asked expectantly.

"Well…" Miley started. "He said that the next ship will leave at…5 o'clock!" Miley stated.

"Augh…" Oliver groaned. They passed by a pillar, and Miley looked at the advertisement posted on it.

"What's it say?" Oliver asked.

"Well…" Miley decided to make something up. "I-It says that Thomas Edison will be at the Science Center today…right now!"

"Really?" Oliver jumped up and down, like a gleeful child.

"Yep, come on. Let's start looking." Miley motioned Oliver to follow her, and led him into a building that said "Le immueble de dessin."

"Well…this doesn't look right." Oliver said, glancing around the room. "You said that this is the Science Center."

"Well…I guess it's the Creativity Center! Let me go find the Science sector." Miley said, and ran off.

"Okay…" Oliver said. He started glancing around at the beautiful works of art surrounding him. "Hmmm…Interesting."

A woman walked over to him. "May I help you?" She asked with a light accent.

"Huh? Oh, no thank you. I don't need help looking at these paintings. Most of them can't even happen!"

"No…they're Impressionist Style." The woman said.

"Oh, really? Well, they're not giving me such a good impression. Trees can't be yellow, mountains are not blue, and humans…can't…f-fly." Oliver slowly walked over to the painting of the flying man, as if he was a magnet.

"Oh…so, you like flying humans, don't you?" The woman asked. "Or do you like naked men?"

Oliver looked at her with a surprised look. "Huh? Oh, no. Just flying men." He grinned. The women smiled back at him. Suddenly, a man walked over and yelled, "Lily Truscott!"

"Yes?" The woman turned around.

"What is the meaning of this?" He picked up the picture of the flying man. "Who drew this?"

"I-I did, sir." Lily replied to the man.

"We do not need you to draw these…these…blasted amateur drawings. We are professionals, and you'd better stick with what you were hired for." With that, he shoved the painting into Lily's arms and stomped off.

"So…" Oliver asked sheepishly…"Lily…"

"Yes?" Lily turned around and looked at him, as if nothing had happened.

"What exactly were you hired for?" Oliver asked.

Lily looked embarrassed. "Er…Coat hanging for the guests…"

"Ah…I see…" Just that moment, Miley went rushing between the two.

"I've found two men to help me find Eddy-son!" She motioned at two men, who certainly seemed like they were trying to kill Miley. They ran down the stairs at the other side of the room.

"Well…that certainly was odd. Was she the women you were accompanying?" Lily asked.

"Yes…"

Miley climbed down a ladder, out of breath, and said, "Hey! I think we've located him. I just need to make sure." This time, three men climbed down the ladder, and Miley immediately ran through a door, with the men close on her heels.

Lily looked confused. "How'd she just get from down the stairs…to above us?"

Oliver shrugged. "Beats me. Come on, let's make sure she doesn't hurt herself."

-------

Downstairs, Miley engaged herself in battle with the three men. She threw pans of paint at them, while they fought back equally hard.

In the final straw, Miley pushed one of the men on a piece of wood, and jumped on the other side. The man went flying and shot through the roof.

------

"Woah!" Lily jumped backwards, straight into Oliver's arms. They both blushed, but weren't looking at each other.

A man just flew through the roof, and from the hole, Miley jumped up. She was covered in paint. She ran over and picked up two paintings, then knocked the stands into the man's groin. He groaned.

Lily caught sight of the man's forearm. It bore the tattoo of a black scorpion, as did the rest of the men.

The 3 men immediately ran out of the art room. Miley looked around, ran over to a man, and sheepishly handed him the paintings.

"Come on!" Lily motioned. The three left the building the back way, behind a painting of a room, before the awestruck artists decided to take revenge on them.

-----

"Well…that was quite an adventure." Oliver dusted himself off. Then looked at Miley.

"Why were you fighting those men?" He asked.

"They were trying to kill me!" Miley said.

"Why?"

"Umm….Lord Kelvin hired them?" Miley guessed.

"Blast that man! We need to get out of Paris as soon as possible." Oliver stated.

"We could go there!" Lily pointed at a hot air balloon.

"Great idea!" As the threesome was running towards the hot air balloon, Oliver suddenly asked, "What's that say?"

"Nuevelle Attraction." Lily read. "It roughly means, 'New Attraction'."

"I see. I feel bad for those people who would have ridden it if we hadn't stolen it." Oliver said.

They had reached the front gate of the hot air balloon. Oliver pushed Miley forward, and told her to tell the man to let them in.

Miley smiled, then turned at the ticket man. She grinned sheepishly. "Er…" She spoke gibberish again, but Oliver was impatient and pushed them all in. Lily looked at Miley for a second, but her eyes plainly said, "You're not French, are you?"

They climbed into the hot-air balloon, but Oliver pointed down at an old lady. "She's got my bag! It has all my money in it!"

Miley immediately jumped off the balloon and ran up to the old lady. "Excuse me, but that's my bag."

"No it's not."

"Yes it is." And Miley pried the bag from the old lady. She threw it up to the balloon, and ran towards the rope that led back to the basket, since the balloon began to float away.

"Hey! Give me back my bag!" The old lady began to chase them. From behind her, the men with the scorpion tattoos appeared, and started chasing the balloon too.

The scorpion men and old lady chased the balloon all the way to the edge of Paris, although Oliver threw down a miniscule black purse that was inside the big bag. Apparently, it was the old lady's, but no one knew, because it landed on her head and she immediately fainted.

------

"Where to next?" Oliver asked.

"We're going to Berlin, where we'll catch a train through Turkey and into India." Miley replied.

"Great." Oliver stared out into the open sea, with the sun beginning to set.

**How'd you like it? For those of you who've seen the movie, you'll know how hilarious that hot air balloon chase was. I couldn't turn that into writing, so it wasn't really funny, but I highly suggest all of you who haven't seen the movie to check out that scene.**


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